First the good news.
I'm alive and fine in Miyazaki! It's a beautiful city (yes, city. Not backwoods town with a general store) populated with non-native palm trees and a generally humid climate. Right now it's raining outside (pathetic fallacy for what is to come), and something like 18 degrees Celsius.
My apartment is large, cheap and with no central-air. This comes as no surprise to me, but maybe it would be for people who don't know about Japan and its complete lack of housing insulation. But it gets down to a cool 5C at the worst here, so I'm not too worried.
My job is wonderful so far. That's all I'm going to say. The coworkers are great and the students are enthusiastic and friendly.
Now the bad news.
This article has no pictures to go along with it, so it'll be boring for some. Sorry about that.
Also, I was sexually molested by a 75 year old man today. I bet you thought that was a joke. It's not.
When I first arrived at my apartment I was greeted after my day of shopping for groceries by this elderly man in the elevator. He was very friendly (surprise), and outright invited me to the Onsen location nearby. This is actually very common of people, so I wasn't disturbed or bothered. He asked the general questions about me and when finding out that I lived alone, said "Oh, I do too. Let me cook for you tonight!" Again, this really isn't much out of the ordinary, but that makes me uncomfortable no matter where I am so politely declined saying "I would love to some other time, thank you so much". Mind you, this is all in Japanese, so for when I speak picture a newborn babe trying to do small talk.
I hadn't seen him for a good week or so and was feeling comfortable again, but lo and behold; there he was getting out of the elevator after I returned home from grocery shopping again. This time he asked me when I work, to which I lied saying "from 1 until 10pm", hoping he would give up and realize I'm too busy. "Oh, well it's only 10am, come on up to my apartment for toast and coffee! Do you like toast and coffee?"
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I was trapped. I wasn't aware of the creepiness of the man, just only a sense of desperation in his being lonely and wanting a foreign friend. Again, this isn't out of the ordinary. So I walked up to his apartment, as we were going I mentioned that yes, I was free friday and wouoldn't mind going to an Onsen with him (I love Onsens and he just seemed eager to be friends).
Upon entering his small apartment I saw that he indeed live alone, indicated by the shrine to his wife tucked in the corner of the living room. I wanted to get out of there so told him "I have to go... these groceries must be put in the refridgerator!" To which he replied "Oh yes, of course! Go do it then come right back. I'll have the coffee and toast ready when you get here."
I shouldn't have returned.
When I entered I saw that he had already made one cup of tea. One piece of toast. For me. My stomach was turning already. I sat down and we made small talk. I sipped the tea as slow as possible just in case he drugged the tea. The toast was dry in my mouth and I could barely swallow it. Especially when he started touching my shoulder and telling me how hard it was. I would have gotten out of there quickly, but "Oh! I took massage lessons, you look tense. Give me your hand." I gave him my hand. He kneaded it with his wrinkled fingers and it did indeed feel very good. He wasn't lying.
"Do you like to drink?" There's no way I'm drinking with this man. "Oh no, I don't drink at all."
"Oh..." I could see his disappointment "so are you a Mormon?"
"No, my grandfather drank too much and died, so I don't." Nice. He can't touch that one.
I change the subject.
"Do you have a DVD player?" he asks. "Oh no, but I'm going to buy one soon." "Let me show you my classic American movies, you can borrow them." He stands up and brings them back in. There are a whole 5 of them. "Oh I haven't seen these. But it's okay, I won't borrow them." He doesn't react, but then drops the bomb that makes me realize my situation:
"Oh so do you watch pornography?"
"... what?"
"You have to keep your penis 'genki'" He points at his crotch.
I change the subject to the television.
He then starts to try and massage my leg, saying he's showing me how to do it. He grabs my calf and starts breathing heavily... I look at the time and finally say "I have to go, I have to get ready for work!"
"Oh, well please come back tonight. We can go to the Onsen after your work or I can give you a massage." He motions to the massage table... which is right beside his bed that has a tiger-print bedsheet.
This man lives one floor below me. I'm still figuring out what to do.
Other than that though, I'm having a great time in Miyazaki, no sarcasm whatsoever! I don't have the internet so I'll be back in a week or so. Hope everyone is well back home and abroad.
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9 comments:
Oh God that's incredibly creepy... well, whatever you do, don't ever consume anything he gives you, again! Or go into his apartment for that matter. Gross!
Yup, none of that surprised me whatsoever!
My solution is to have headphones in your ears at all times. You don't have to be listening to music but you can pretend to.
Wooooooow. This happened to my friend in Korea too, actually. Only a lonely old man in a lonely old market...
=/
"Sexually molested" is such strong language, I'm glad nothing actually happened.
It's interesting that he assumed you were gay and you assumed he was straight.
Regardless, I'm sorry you got in a situation where you felt vulnerable and abused.
Would it be weird just to explain to him that you have a girlfriend? He's probably just a lonely old man so he might understand.
xo
Greg
Chris - I'm avoiding him like the plague, but he'll be searching for me tonight.
hane - I have employed this tactic from now on, thanks!
Michael - Your friend wasn't stupid enough to go into the man's house I gather.
Greg - Hey Greg! I miss you.
I don't think it's too strong. He was touching me with a very sexual intent and I still feel violated thinking about it today. He didn't assume I was gay... he was just using the massage excuse to cop a feel. I assumed he was straight because he had a wife, but yeah that doesn't always mean straight. I have no problem with the gay or straight aspect of it. Had a 75 year old woman done what he did, rest assured I would feel just as violated.
He knows I have a girlfriend, and actually USED her as a segway into asking me about my penis! So he's really just trying to take advantage of me I believe. I'm just going to avoid him... he does have friends though so I don't feel bad about his being lonely, especially because he didn't consider my feelings about the situation he put me in.
YOU TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS GODDAMN OLD MAN HANDS OFF MY MAN!!!! I WILL FIGHT HIM!
Here's a useful phrase I learned that might be handy if such a situation comes up again:
命が惜しければ、今すぐ立ち去れ。
"Inochi ga oshikereba, ima sugu tachi-sare"
"Leave now if you want to live."
LIFE OF CHARLES
read your article re 75 year old ,these guys are weird and younger ones as well , just keep your distance as best you can ,...make it clear it is against your religion ,and you have no time in your schedule.
Possibly mentioning it to your contact who has directed your PROGRAM ..OR AS GREG HAS COMMENTED IS GOOD ADVISE ... YOU HAVE TOO MANY GIRLFIENDS .....the young guys are not any better than the old one's ...I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST WENT TO Montreal YEARS AGO , I WAS FOLLOWED TO MY HOTEL a young one liked my moustache I TURNED AND FACED HIM TOLD HIM WHERE TO GO ,and the air was blue, I THEN PROCEEDED TO HOTEL HAPPILY ALONE.. ...DO NOT TRY THIS OUT OF COUNTRY ...SAY HELLO TO GREG for me ....wfac.
Thats HOT!!
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